"frankly my dear, i don't give a damn"

at work early yet again, because of the horrible flooding in TN they shut down work on sunday, and i guess we're slow so we came in 2 hours late today... that's my paycheck minus 12 hours... i mean yeah i'm okay with the 8 hour shift on my friday but c'mon let me make some fucking money.

so it's been one fuck of a week, the flooding was/is terrible, thank god that as far as i know no one in my family is hurt. a lot of houses flooded, 3 of my cousins and my grandmothers basement to be exact. not to meantion all of my friends houses. and the national media won't talk about it?! no offence but they still talk about katrina... i know nashville isn't as badass as new orleans buuuuuuuut it doesn't make the losses any less important. fuck you national new media FUCK YOU! what nashville and tn have no importance?! what about all of those bands you love from TN? what about the titains? oooooooo okay i get it... because we didn't go crazy and loot or because not as many people died it's not as important. gotcha... good to know, next time we'll be sure to act like a bunch of assholes and kill people in our fucking time of crisis. asshats!

on another note, fears are starting to fade, not by much i still worry about all of those things and more everyday. but he does things like randomly call me sexy or kiss my neck and shoulders out of the blue and i quit wondering if he really has changed. we both need to take steps back and remember the promises we made a month ago, like being romantic and doing romantic things just because it'll make the other person smile, give time to breathe and hangout by yourself or with friends, to compromise so it's not all take and all give. those are the major things. there is still no better feeling than waking up and feeling his hand rub my leg and let me curl up in the nook, or waking up from a bad dream and curling up next to him.

i'm still on the hunt for a car, mike from work said he'd be on the look out for one... it sure would be nice to have a working car again, for billie and i both.

so one of my dearest friends is having surgery tomorrow, she has cancer which she doesn't deserve, so i'll be at the hospital with her tomorrow, please keep her in your thoughts and prayers that this is the end of this battle with cancer and not the beginning. she has the most amazing heart in the world and i'm blessed to still call her a friend after the shit i've pulled.

peace & love

-j-

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